Vince McMahon: Welcome, everyone to Week Four of The Retro Rumble! As you know, this match pits 50 WWF Hasbro and WWE Retro superstars against each other to determine which is the best in the world.
Tazz: Straight up! And when we last left off, Stone Cold Steve Austin was about to mix it up with the nearly eight-foot tall Giant Gonzales!
Vince McMahon: And don't forget that Virgil is still in the ring... um, somehow. Here we go!
Vince McMahon: Right from the outset, Stone Cold Steve Austin is going toe-to-toe with Giant Gonzales!
Tazz: What the hell is Austin doing? Ain't no way he can hang with this beast!
Vince McMahon: Nonetheless, Stone Cold landing roundhouse rights and kicks to the Giant Gonzales. It appears as though he's going for... THE STONE COLD STUNNER!
Tazz: What a moron, Cole!
Vince McMahon: What... Cole?!?
Tazz: No apologies necessary, Cole. Look at this! Gonzales has used Austin's momentum against him and just like that, Stone Cold is out!
Vince McMahon: What a maneuever! This has to be considered an upset. And we have our next participant!
Vince McMahon: Hacksaw Jim Duggan is out here, proudly representing the stars and stripes!
Tazz: Ol' Hacksaw is gonna be seein' stars and will have stripes up and down his body if he keeps tryin' to trade punches with Giant Gonzales!
Vince McMahon: Look at that! Gonzales swatting away both Duggan and the bodyguard Virgil like they were.... just so much garbage.
Tazz: Shades of Andre The Giant right there, Cole.
Vince McMahon: I am Vincent Kennedy McMahon, dammit!
Tazz: Stop apologizin', Cole. Here comes the next man out - look who it is!
Elias: (Grabs microphone) Hello, my name is Elias. WWE stands for "Who wants to wa..."
Tazz: Gonzales tossed out Hacksaw. See ya later, dummy!
Vince McMahon: Will you look at that? The Giant Gonzales has interrupted Honky Tonk's maneuever... and tossed him out of the ring as well!
Tazz: Very impressive so far! Between this and last week, Gonzales is seriously racking up the eliminations. I wouldn't want to be Virgil right about now. Well, I probably wouldn't want to be Virgil most of the time. Ya feel me, Cole?
Vince McMahon: I'M NOT COLE!
Vince McMahon: What the... that's The Honky Tonk Man!!
Tazz: Elias is out cold. I guess Honky Tonk Man didn't like his musical style!
Vince McMahon: The Honky Tonk Man has taken over Elias's spot in The Retro Rumble. Right away, he positions Virgil for a Shake, Rattle and Roll!
Vince McMahon: The next participant is... Mankind!
Tazz: This cat ain't playin' with a full deck, Cole, but I admire his pain threshold, big time.
Vince McMahon: Immediately, Mankind goes right after Giant Gonzales. It looks he's putting the giant in... The Mandible Claw!
Vince McMahon: Time for our next participant.... or shall I say participants.... Demolition has been selected to enter next! But which member enters the ring on their behalf - Ax, Smash or Crush?
Tazz: Maybe it's gonna be all three!
Vince McMahon: That's impossible. Only one entry at a time, according to the official Retro Rumble rulebook.
Tazz: Hmmm.... why don't you go ahead and tell them not to enter the match together, Cole?
Vince McMahon: Not Cole.
Tazz: I have a feelin' Mankind ain't exactly gonna have a nice day.
Vince McMahon: Nonetheless... our next entrant is Doink The Clown!
Tazz: I can't believe my eyes, but the unlikely threesome of Virgil, Doink and Mankind have eliminated Giant Gonzales!
Tazz: Wow.... this interesting. You got all three members of Demolition in the ring right now!
Vince McMahon: Indeed! And it looks as though Mankind, Virgil and Doink The Clown will attempt to fend off this using a temporary alliance.
Tazz: Real smart move!
Vince McMahon: Nevertheless.... If you like what you've read so far... share it on Twitter with the hashtag #RetroRumble for your chance to win a FREE Hasbro figure at the conclusion of The Retro Rumble. For more Tazz, I'm Michael Co.... I mean, Vince McMahon. See you next week!