Do You Smell
What The Rock
One of the biggest criticisms a wrestling fan gets from non-wrestling fans is always along the lines of "Why do you enjoy watching sweaty men rolling around in their underwear?" While we as wrestling fans haven't thought of a clever comeback yet, at least we can now replicate the sweat.
I stumbled across this version of The Great One at a flea market recently, where I picked up four vintage wrestling figures for 7 bucks! Not a bad deal.
For the completists out there, I also got an "announcer era" Vince McMahon, a Nation of Domination member that looks like a hybrid of Kama Mustafa and D'Lo Brown (honestly, I can't tell which one it's supposed to be) and Big Daddy V himself... Viscera!
Anyways, you'll notice how this particular Rock figure is ridiculously buff, kind of like he is now that he's no longer having to take Wellness Tests. This was the model for wrestlers in Jakks Pacific's "Maximum Sweat" line, which was produced in the late-1990's and also included Stone Cold Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Triple H, Mankind, Kane, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, The Big Show, Ken Shamrock, Edge, Droz and for some reason, Gangrel.
Why is the line called "Maximum Sweat"? I'm glad you asked...
On each wrestler's ridiculously muscular back, there's a little nozzle than you can open up to pour water in. Just like in real life.
I've since read that each Maximum Sweat figure came with a little bottle for you to store your water in, but my $7 didn't get me a sweat bottle; nor did it give me the ladder that this figure apparently came packaged with. Ehhh, I'll live.
Once the nozzle gimmick fills up, you press the button and water discreetly pours out of his holes in The Rock's neck down to his body below, simulating the concept of "sweat".
a/k/a The People's Sweat Gland
Eventually your Rock figure gets all sweaty, which, quite honestly, is a sentence that I NEVER in a million years figured I would type.
If you're not careful, the gobs of sweat water can roll down past his ridiculously-sculpted abs, but and down to his knees and feet. I've never, personally, worked up such a good sweat that my boots were all sweaty, but perhaps that's why Dwayne Johnson is being paid billions of dollars to make movies and I'm stuck writing this effing blog.
Is it an interesting gimmick for wrestling action figures? I suppose so, but I'm not sure how much appeal there would be to do this over and over again. I mean, let's face it, once you've seen Big Show, Austin and Rock sweating, doing so a second time isn't going to be as nearly as memorable.
Unless you could somehow make them bleed? Hmmm, get Jakks Pacific on the phone.....
While Sweaty Dwayne Johnson isn't the best wrestling figure ever, it was less than two bucks, and that's hard to complain about, you know?