Sean Mooney: Hello, everyone! Welcome to Week Eight of The Retro Rumble! As you know, this match pits 50 WWF Hasbro and WWE Retro superstars against each other to determine which is the best in the world.
Jerry The King Lawler: We're fixin' to get down to the final 15 entrants or so, and that means things are going to get real serious in a hurry!
Jerry The King Lawler: Woo hoo! Look who just showed up!
Sean Mooney: Rowdy Roddy Piper just entered the ring and attacked The Hulkster!
Jerry The King Lawler: It goes to show you, Mooney, anything can happen in The Retro Rumble! Hot Rod came out of nowhere and he's trying to end Hulkamania for good!
Sean Mooney: Speaking of 'out of nowhere'...
Sean Mooney: .... here comes Randy Orton, delivering an RKO to John Cena!
Jerry The King Lawler: Someone let a viper loose tonight!
Sean Mooney: Piper and Orton aren't invited guests tonight. Both of them are putting the boots to The Hulkster and John Cena...
Sean Mooney: Randy Orton and Rowdy Roddy Piper are finally leaving the ring.
Jerry The King Lawler: These two really made an impact!
Sean Mooney: Indeed. And these troublemakers robbed us of a dream confrontation between Hulk Hogan and John Cena.
Jerry The King Lawler: And think about this: whomever enters the match next has a chance to eliminate both John Cena and Hulk Hogan!
Sean Mooney: Let's see who it is!
Sean Mooney: Number 35 is... Koko B. Ware!
Jerry The King Lawler: Forget what I said a minute ago.
Sean Mooney: Don't count The Bird Man out! What he lacks in size, he makes up for in heart.
Jerry The King Lawler: Heart ain't gonna help him!
Jerry The King Lawler: And it's working out just as well for him this year! F5 to Koko and he's outta here! See ya later, Bird Brain!
Sean Mooney: It's time for our next entrant, and it's.... The Big Dog, Roman Reigns!
Jerry The King Lawler: Dog, as in puppies? Woo hoo!
Sean Mooney: No, that's.... something entirely different. Roman Reigns is entering The Retro Rumble at number 38, and he could be a difference maker in this match.
Jerry The King Lawler: At the very least, you'd have to think he'll last longer than Koko B. Ware.
Sean Mooney: Roman Reigns is immediately clashing with Brock Lesnar, who is also being pursued by Hulk Hogan! Meanwhile, John Cena is giving the five-knucle shuffle to Jake The Snake Roberts!
Jerry The King Lawler: I had to a five-knuckle shuffle after my girlfriend stormed out the other night.
Sean Mooney: Lovely. We have five men in the ring, and a dozen more to go! If you like what you've read so far... share it on Twitter with the hashtag #RetroRumble for your chance to win a FREE Hasbro figure at the conclusion of The Retro Rumble. See you next week!
Sean Mooney: Jake The Snake Roberts is out next!
Jerry The King Lawler: This match is perfect for a guy like Jake, whose only friends in the world are Jack Daniel's and Jim Beam!
Sean Mooney: That's uncalled for, King! Jake The Snake with a quick DDT to John Cena.
Sean Mooney: Koko B. Ware trying his best to lift up John Cena.
Jerry The King Lawler: Cena and Hogan are going to make birdseed out of The Bird Man!
Sean Mooney: Our next entrant is about to come out... and it's none other than The Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar!