Michael Cole: Hello, everyone! Welcome to Week Nine of The Retro Rumble! As you know, this match pits 50 WWF Hasbro and WWE Retro superstars against each other to determine which is the best in the world.
Bobby The Brain Heenan: We're getting down to the last dozen or so... the winner could end up being one of these five humanoids.
Michael Cole: It's time for our next entrant, and it's... Irwin R. Shyster!
Bobby The Brain Heenan: This is the most dangerous man in the entire Retro Rumble!
Michael Cole: No disrespect to Mr. Shyster, but he's stepping into the ring against a slew of legends and former champions.
Bobby The Brain Heenan: Never mind that. Have you ever been audited by this guy?
Michael Cole: IRS immediately goes after Roman Reigns.
Bobby The Brain Heenan: The Big Dog better have his deductions in order!
Michael Cole: Meanwhile, Jake The Snake Roberts has been eliminated by John Cena! And we have our next entrant... it's Kofi Kingston!!!
Bobby The Brain Heenan: Kofi can't bring the rest of The New Day down to the ring. What, so they can interfere on his behalf? That's illegal!
Michael Cole: Isn't that what you did for years, Brain?
Bobby The Brain Heenan: Never mind that! Kofi just tried to leap on to Brock... and he got caught!
Michael Cole: Out next, it's Brutus The Barber Beefcake.
Bobby The Brain Heenan: What the hell?!?
Michael Cole: It appears as though this Series 3 Brutus has just been attacked by a Series 1 Beefcake! The Barber has applied the sleeper to The Barber... and he's out!
Michael Cole: Triple H making his move with a pedigree to Hulk Hogan!
Bobby The Brain Heenan: Hulkamania is dead!
Michael Cole: And look in the right hand corner of the screen.... Kofi Kingston has made his way back in!
Michael Cole: Look who's out next! It's... The Undertaker!
Bobby Heenan: The air just got colder in here.
Michael Cole: The Dead Man is making his way down to the ring, in Hasbro and not Retro form. Let's see if The Phenom has what it takes to win this entire match, especially given The American Badass chose such a late number in The Retro Rumble.
Michael Cole: Triple H is our next entrant!
Bobby The Brain Heenan: It's all about The Game, Cole!
Michael Cole: As the Cerebral Assassin enters the ring, he's not going to have to contend with IRS... as the taxman has been ousted by none other than John Cena!
Michael Cole: Superman punch by Roman Reigns! He's sent Brock Lesnar right over the top rope and to the floor below!
Bobby The Brain Heenan: How is that fair?!? Brock wasn't ready for the big dummy!
Michael Cole: It's every man for himself in The Retro Rumble! Brock Lesnar has been eliminated, and now it's anyone's guess who could win this match!
Bobby The Brain Heenan: Someone oughta petition Jack Tunney over this.
Michael Cole: Vintage Brock Lesnar, catching Kofi Kingston in mid-air!
Bobby The Brain Heenan: So long, dummy! The Power of Positivity didn't get you anywhere.
Michael Cole: Wait just a minute! Kofi's ankle landed on the ring steps. He hasn't been eliminated from The Retro Rumble!
Bobby The Brain Heenan: I knew he'd do that!
Michael Cole: The Beast Incarnate is watching Kofi Kingston in awe... but he should really be looking behind him instead....
Michael Cole: Immediately, The Undertaker stares down the rest of the competitors... John Cena! Triple H! Hulk Hogan! Roman Reigns! Kofi Kingston!
Bobby The Brain Heenan: If anyone is capable of burying five former World Champions, it's The Dead Man!
Michae Cole: And we still have seven more competitors to come! If you like what you've read so far... share it on Twitter with the hashtag #RetroRumble for your chance to win a FREE Hasbro figure at the conclusion of The Retro Rumble. See you next week!