Jonathan Coachman: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Week Six of The Retro Rumble! As you know, this match pits 50 WWF Hasbro and WWE Retro superstars against each other to determine which is the best in the world.
John Bradshaw Layfield: I can't wait to get this started! When we last left off, Virgil was left alone in the ring with Diesel... and I think it's finally time for Mr. Meat Sauce to head back to his local Olive Garden!
Randy "Macho Man" Savage: Makin' a prediction right now that Virgil will still be standing at the end of this week's activities. Unn-huhh. Dig it!
JBL: Hey look, Macho Man is here. Didn't you end up eliminating yourself last week?
Randy Savage: Can it, Bradshaw! That's not a topic that the Macho Man really wants to get into right here, yeahhh.
JBL: I'm just saying, Mach... maybe if you didn't have so many damn Retro and Hasbro figures, you'd still be in the match...
Jonathan Coachman: Sorry to interrupt, gentlemen, but here comes our next entrant.... it's Razor Ramon!
Randy Savage: Ooooh yeah. Looks like The Bad Guy has got a bone to pick with Big Daddy Cool.
JBL: There's a problem between The Outsiders here!
Jonathan Coachman: As we know, it's every man for himself in The Retro Rumble, and now Diesel and Razor Ramon are coming to blows!
Jonathan Coachman: The next entrant in the match is... The Iron Sheik!
JBL: The Iron Sheik is one of THE toughest customers around in the squared circle. He can break your back and make you humble!
Randy Savage: Unn-huh! Sheikie Baby sees a golden opportunity to get ahead here.
Jonathan Coachman: Gentlemen, if you don't mind... it's time for the next entrant!
Randy Savage: Ooooh yeah! The Ultimate Warrior, comin' in hot!
JBL: This Ultimate Moron is systematically taking The Sheik apart, tearing him limb from limb!
Jonathan Coachman: The Ultimate Warrior, rocking The Iron Sheik now with clotheslines and flying shoulderblocks. Now he's lifting The Sheik up over his head. Gorilla Press time... and right out of the ring!
Randy Savage: See ya, Sheik! It's been real!
JBL: This is a travesty! The Ultimate Warrior shouldn't even be allowed within 30 feet of a wrestling ring, let alone being let loose in a Retro Rumble!
Jonathan Coachman: And it's time for next entrant! Let's see who's next.
Jonathan Coachman: A dream match happening here in The Retro Rumble!
JBL: Neither man can seem to get an advantage over the other.
Randy Savage: Yeah.... real talk: Ultimate Warrior and Bill Goldberg are perfectly matched in every way. Dig it!
Jonathan Coachman: It's time for our next entrant.... it's The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase! And he's not even dressed to compete!
JBL: Once again, DiBiase has spread some money around to get a high number. But unlike 1989, the number 30 spot is hardly the best time to enter... there are still a good twenty competitors left to go.
Randy Savage: Hey, Bradshaw - maybe you should ask The Million Dollar Man for a loan until payday?
JBL: Are you kidding me? John Bradshaw Layfield has more than enough wealth to go around. But heck, even I couldn't compete against the resources of a Ted DiBiase.
JBL: Warrior and Goldberg need to take the damn money!
Randy Savage: No way! Both of these guys have way too much integrity to take a bribe. That's more like a John Layfield move - dig it!
Jonathan Coachman: It looks like The Ultimate Warrior and Goldberg have a big decision to make! What will happen next week? And if you like what you've read so far... share it on Twitter with the hashtag #RetroRumble for your chance to win a FREE Hasbro figure at the conclusion of The Retro Rumble. See you next week!
Jonathan Coachman: The Iron Sheik has eliminated both Razor Ramon and Diesel simultaneously!
JBL: Will you look at that?!? Wow. The Shiek is doing better in The Retro Rumble than you did, Macho Man!
Randy Savage: Yeah, that's real funny. Real funny! I don't remember your cowboy ass even entering the match...
JBL: Maybe I will! There are still 23 more entries to go...
Randy Savage: You don't even have a Hasbro or Retro figure...
JBL: Who's next, indeed! It's the one and only... Goldberg!
Jonathan Coachman: Goldberg entering the ring, and he immediately targets The Ultimate Warrior. This should be a good one!
Randy Savage: Yeahhh. Warrior vs. Goldberg, and I can't predict a winner.
Jonathan Coachman: He's asking for the microphone...
The Million Dollar Man: Everyone has a price for The Million Dollar Man. And I'm going to prove it here tonight! Ultimate Warrior, Bill Goldberg... I'm going to offer you a cool million each to leave the ring right now. What do you say, boys? Ahahahahahaha!